


Curiosity

by LadyZoZo



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gender, Set during World Enough and Time, fan exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25463884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyZoZo/pseuds/LadyZoZo
Summary: Bill gets curious about gender following the Twelfth Doctor's remarks about it in World Enough and Time
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27
Collections: DW Exchange 2020





	Curiosity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ClueingforBEGGs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClueingforBEGGs/gifts).



Bill pops a few more chips into her mouth and frowns. The Doctor hadn’t really explained that whole “he was my man crush” thing very well. It was a bit confusing. I mean, she knew about regeneration. But could gender really change through that? Bill hadn’t thought it would be that thorough. More like… a deaging process.

“What is it?” The Doctor asks.

Bill frowns. “What is what?”

“Whatever it is you’re thinking about.” The Doctor remarks as he puts another chip in his mouth.

“How did you-”

“You were smiling.” The Doctor shrugs.

Bill sighs. She hated when he did that. “Fine.” She turns to him again and puts down her fork. “I don’t get this whole regeneration thing. How does it make Missy your man-crush?”

“I thought I explained regeneration to you?” The Doctor ponders.

“Well, yeah.” Bill nods. “But not very well. I thought you just meant it was like some kind of kind of deaging thingie. Like you reverse to a younger stage so you don’t die?”

The Doctor chuckles and shakes his head. “Not really.”

“Well what is it then?”

The Doctor sighs and pops a few more chips in his mouth before answering. “It’s more like… reincarnation.”

“What's it like you die and just wake up as someone else?” Bill frowns. “Sounds a bit… magical.”

“No not like that.” The Doctor shakes his head. “Well, actually it is a bit like that. But not really.”

Bill rolls her eyes. “Listen if you’re just going to talk in riddles I’ll ask someone else.”

“Like who?!” The Doctor asks through a mouthful of chips.

Bill shrugs. “Maybe Nardole knows.”

“Oh no, I’m not having you learn about regeneration through Nardole.” The Doctor sighs. “Fine. It’s like… when a Time Lord dies, our bodies react in a unique way. Every cell starts burning and changing, reforming into something new.”

“What like, Pokemon?” Bill asks. “How they evolve into stronger versions of themselves?”

“Sort of.” The Doctor smiles, charmed by Bill’s comparison. “Although I suppose I am the most powerful version of myself… but no. What happens is every cell changes, reforms and moves. Your, well my, entire body burns itself into a new form. Like chucking food into a blender, you always have the same base ingredients but something new comes out each time.”

“What, and your gender can change with that as well? I thought gender was like… a thing in your head, like a piece of your personality. Surely your mind stays the same?”

“Well, to a certain extent.” The Doctor agrees. “But you’re right, gender doesn’t change. Not really anyway.”   
  
“Wait but that makes no sense.” Bill frowns. “I thought Missy was your man-crush.”

The Doctor hesitates before answering. “She was. Kind of. Look, it’s hard to explain. On Gallifrey we don’t really have ‘gender’.” He puts the word in finger quotes and almost seems to scowl at it, if you can even scowl at a word. “We threw away that concept over ten million years ago. When a race of people are all one nasty trip away from changing body type and personality gender becomes rather unimportant. Kind of like how you threw out the concept of eating raw meat when you discovered fire. It’s just progress.”

“Huh.” Bill frowns. “So when you die you just… catch fire and reorganise yourself? Sometimes into a woman?”

“Yeah. No. Well, it’s more of an explosion than fire, but yeah that’s basically the gist of it.”

“And have you ever been a woman before?” Bill asks. “Or like, had a ‘female’ body.”

The Doctor frowns and starts counting on his fingers. “Lets see… oldie, shorty, fighty, scarfy, blondie, clowny, tiny, oh yes! The handsome one was a woman!” The Doctor frowns. “No, hang on, no I wasn’t. Beardy wasn’t, neither was baldy, or spiky, nor tweedy, and I don’t think I’m a woman… so no. No I haven’t. Not by your standards anyway.”

“Right.” Bill nods, not having any clue what had just happened. “Not much variety then, eh?”

“Unfortunately not.” The Doctor shoves the last few chips in his mouth. “I live in hope though.”

~ 🌺 ~

Later that night Bill found herself hanging around the university. She knew she shouldn’t really be here after her lessons with the Doctor ended but she couldn’t help but keep thinking about what the Doctor and her had been talking about.

She had to know more about that gender stuff he was talking about. She was absolutely fascinated by the concept of a society that had all but forgotten about gender, it sounded simultaneously incredibly ‘sci-fi’ while also completely plausible, she had to know more.

Bill had tried to ask the Doctor about it but he’d refused to expand on it, saying they needed to work on the actual work he had set for tonight instead. Naturally this meant Bill had to take matters into her own hands.

Bill sneaks around the uni grounds, knowing she shouldn’t be doing this, and walks up to the door leading down to the university basement. She puts a hand on the door and feels the lock click open at her touch.

In all fairness, if the Doctor didn’t want her sneaking about down there then he should really take her body print off the defence mechanism.

Bill pushes open the door and creeps down the stairs as quietly as she can. Every cell in her body told her to turn back, to retreat back into safety. Almost like she was walking into a zoo enclosure with a hungry lion. Her instinct screamed at her that everything about it was a bad decision, and maybe it was. But her instinct could shove it, she was curious.

Bill walks up to the Vault doors and starts the unlocking procedure. She’s seen the Doctor and Nardole do it a few times now so she was fairly certain she had the method down in her head. It was fairly simple if she was being honest. Just twist this bit there, that bit there, and the last bit down here. Then type in the word “Koschei” (whatever the hell that meant) and bam.

The lock clicks open loudly and the heavy Vault doors start slowly swinging inwards towards the Vault, gradually revealing the large caverness room that the Doctor kept his so called man crush in.

Missy was lying on the floor of the raised pedestal in the centre of the room. Her jacket and hat lay on top of the piano beside her while her hands were resting across her chest in the traditional ‘sleeping vampire’ pose. Her hair was, for once, loose and sprawled out on the floor around her head like some kind of strange halo.

She turns her head to look at Bill and stares at her with mild amusement. “And what brings you down to my humble abode? Alone? And with a look on your face that might suggest you were about to rob a bank?”

“I-” Bill steps into the room and collects herself. “I just wanted to ask a question.”

“Oh.” Missy sits up and leans on her hand. She tilts her head as she talks to Bill. “Shame. Thought you might be here with that rocking horse I asked the Doctor to order me. But alright, what do you want to know, Squishy?”

“Uh, my name’s Bill.” Bill frowns. Missy knew that, the Doctor had told her many times, and yet every time they met Missy still gave her a new nickname.

“That’s nice Squishy.” Missy sighs. “But that’s not a question. I am a fountain of knowledge and eternal youth, ask me anything.”

Bill ignores her remark and walks over to Missy, repressing her nerves and standing right up close to the force field that separated them. “I was wondering about regeneration. Well, gender more specifically. The Doctor and I were on about it earlier but he wasn’t exactly…”

“Helpful?” Missy suggests.

“Yeah.”

“That man never is.” Missy remarks, staring Bill in the eyes the same way a wolf might stare at a gazelle. “He’s annoying like that. He’ll help every random stranger he meets but when his friends need help? Well, who needs concise answers anway. So go on dear, what was your question?”

“The Doctor told me you used to be a man, but he also told me Time Lords didn’t really have gender. So my question is: what did it feel like to become a woman? Like if there’s no gender on your planet then you wouldn’t have felt a thing, but if you used to be a man and are now a woman then surely you must feel  _ some _ difference?”

“Ah.” Missy stares at Bill with a confounded look on her face. “Yeah. Right. Tint bit awkward. I don’t really, uh, remember, the change all that well.”

“You… can’t remember turning into a woman?”   
  


“Yeah well it’s all just a bit hazy innit.” Missy says with a cockney accent for no apparent reason. “One moment I was just sitting in my TARDIS enjoying a pickle sarnie and the next moment I woke up on the floor and I had all these fascinating new bits and bobs on me. It was all rather peculiar.” Somewhere in the sentence her accent had gone back to scottish, however Bill had no idea when.

“So you noticed you were in a different kind of body?” Bill asks.

“Oh of course.” Missy nods. “But no more than usual. You always do a bit of exploring when you regenerate. You know just standard stuff like checking for moles, facial hair and eye colour. Just so happened I found a few new things this time as well, nothing out of the ordinary though.”

“And your gender?” Bill asks. “Did you notice that was different too?”

“This is all rather personal.” Missy pouts. “Squishy you better not be trying to flirt with me because you’re doing a pretty poor job of it. I would much rather have a box of chocolates.”

“I’m not flirting.” Bill sighs. “And I’m not called Squishy. Can you just answer the question?”

“Alright, spoilsport.” She crosses her legs and starts drumming her fingers against her leg. “No. To answer your rather personal question, no I did not notice. All I noticed was that I suited a dress now and that I was much shorter than I would have liked. It was only when random people started treating me differently that I noticed. Naturally I started using that to my advantage though.” Missy grins and moves her hair over one shoulder, giving Bill a slightly menacing look.

“Oh. Right. So you feel no different now to when you were a man? Or at least, no more different than you would normally?”

“Exactly.” Missy nods.

“So I guess gender really just doesn’t exist on your planet then?” Bill half asks, half realises. “Or if it does, it’s such a miniscule thing that it barely affects you whatsoever?”

“Hole in one.” Missy grins. “You know you’re not as intellectually inept as I’ve given you credit for, you’re actually pretty smart. When you have the right hand to guide you along of course.”

Bill ignores the half compliment and continues thinking. “This kind of makes us humans seem almost… primitive. We focus on gender a lot. I’d never really thought about it but it’s almost ingrained in our society.” Bill scrunches up her face. “I wish we were more like Time Lords.”

“Well who doesn’t?” Missy remarks, even though Bill had been talking to herself. “I mean, just look at our fabulous hats.”

“Bill what the hell are you doing?!” The Doctor’s voice rings out across the Vault. He runs inside with his trademark penguin run, a bag of what looked to be takeaway in his hand.

“Ooh you brought chips.” Missy perks up and looks at the Doctor. “Did you remember to put extra vinegar on mine?”

“Bill get away from her!” The Doctor exclaims, dumping the bag down on a table and glaring between the two of them.

“No no, it’s all good.” Missy assures him. “Squishy here was just asking me a question, weren’t you Squishy?”

Bill rolls her eyes at her and turns to the Doctor. “Look, I’m sorry. I just had to ask more questions about the whole gender thing, and I kind of wanted answers from someone who had actually changed gender. Missy was sort of my only option.”

“How did you even get in here?” The Doctor asks, a look of shock and bewilderment on his face. “The Vault locking system is more secure than any building in this part of the country.”

“Aw, isn’t he cute when he realises he’s not as smart as he thought.” Missy pouts at the Doctor and stands up from the floor. “I think you underestimate Squishy.”

“My name is  _ not _ Squishy.” Bill insists.

“Hush Squishy, I’m talking to the Doctor now.” Missy says without even glancing at her. “Doctor you should give your pets more credit. She did a good job figuring out how to get in here and she has been rather pleasant company. She didn’t even insult me yet, which automatically makes her better than your egg-head butler. Honestly I don’t think he can even look at me without giving me some kind of disapproving stare. It’s not nice.”

“Hang on.” Bill frowns at the Doctor. “Did you actually go out and get chips for you and her?”

“Yeah, so?” The Doctor sits down at the table on his comfy looking armchair.

“Well we just had chips together like an hour and a half ago.” Bill reminds him. “Aren’t you full up?”

“A bit.” The Doctor shrugs. “But I could eat.”

  
“Wouldn't it just be easier to get one load of chips and eat it with both of us at the same time?” Bill asks.

“That’s what I keep saying!” Missy exclaims. “Honestly, it’s not like spending time with more than one friend at a time is going to kill you.” Missy walks up to the force field and stares down at the Doctor. “Now can I please have my chips? All this gender talk is making me peckish.”

The Doctor rolls his eyes and then snaps his fingers. The force field drops and Missy bounds out from the centre of the room, sitting herself down on the edge of the table instead. She rifles through the bag and pulls out her chips. She then grabs another thing from the bag and tosses it to Bill. “Here, you can stick around, I like you.”   
  
“That was mine!” The Doctor complains.

“And now it’s Squishy’s.” Missy tells him. “Now are we going to watch a film or not? I thought you promised me one with killer robots tonight.”

Bill grins as the Doctor begrudgingly puts on a film. She unwraps her burger and starts eating it, surprisingly finding herself happy to have spoken to Missy. She still scared the hell out of her but at least now she knew more about the Doctor’s planet and civilization, something he was always reluctant to mention. It was like learning about Narnia, or Atlantis, and Bill felt somewhat wiser for it.


End file.
